


Even the Best Shippers Can Be Lost

by rogueofheart



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Blackrom, F/M, Just something new!, Nobody ever writes them blackrom, Spadessss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-02
Updated: 2012-09-15
Packaged: 2017-11-11 06:10:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/475361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rogueofheart/pseuds/rogueofheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Feelings are so stupid. Especially if they’re placed on a wall by me, the silly autistic painter girl. But you don’t have to treat me like I’m some fucking fragile flower, you know.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Don’t be silly, you should not be socializing with him, even if he was once our leader. He led us well, but his obnoxiousness and language enough are good reasons for you to stay away.”

 

Blah blah blah.

 

It wasn’t like you listened to any of these rants anyways. Equius didn’t want you talking to anyone who was under your blood caste, even after the game. Whenever you brought up Aradia, he just basically flushed and waved you away, attempting to feed off the topic and bring up something wrong that you’ve recently done, and how it’s his job as your moirail to be so responsible and to not let you get into trouble and craziness.

 

Snore.

 

So what you had some feelings for Karkat? He was your leader, you admired him! Of course, he never really talked to you. He was kind of annoyed any time you walked near him, or tried to chat him over Trollian. But maybe he just didn’t know you well enough! And you could definitely fix that. Obviously. 

 

He stood up for you once! Eridan told you that, much to his discomfort. You bothered him until he spilled, and he explained that Karkat defended you against him. He said you had feelings! It made you so excited, just thinking about it.

 

You wished you could talk to him more, you never really get the chance to! Between Equius complaining, and your own nerves getting to the better of you, you avoided him and followed him both in an obsessive matter. But it wasn’t creepy! It was just a crush, you explained to everyone. Everyone knew about this except Karkat, unfortunately. You huff. Hopefully, everyone’s just casually forgotten about this.

 

Maybe you would talk to him about this whole issue, after things got a little quieter, he wasn’t always yelling for everyone to follow orders, and you could get him alone.

 

Maybe.

 


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sighs I'm not sure if I like this

Of course she still kept her shipping wall! What a ridiculous thought, that she would abandon it. A lot of ships occurred after she was killed by Gamzee, and after the game when she was back to normal, she went directly to find a new wall. Now it was covered in colours and paint and scratches from where she had clawed over some drawings in frustration or anger. 

 

Then there was that back wall that was clearly not obnoxiously large no of course not, it was just a big wall that happened to be there that was hidden by some crates. Just like old times, she thought to herself. It wasn’t really the old hastily drawn painting on the wall, she had improved the picture of her and Karkat with different colours, working on a little bit of it each day. It was her large work in progress and she was proud of it. The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to work on it. 

 

Grabbing her backpack that had varying paintbrushes and paints cluttered around in the big open pocket, and her blue hat, she slipped it on over her head, brushing her hair out of her eyes where it was pulled flat from it. Peaking around the corner in caution for Equius, she made a small excited noise and raced around the corner, feet flying down the stairs.

 

After almost crashing Feferi to the ground, and avoiding stepping on Jade’s toes, she rounded around the corner of the large building they all were staying in and into one of the garages. Since the humans were determined to search for their guardians, they preferred to stick together until they could recover everybody. But Nepeta didn’t mind. She kind of liked their company. Besides, sometimes Jade would come join her down here and paint. Despite the whole cat-dog difference, they got along really well!

 

Nepeta slid on her knees when she reached the garage, opening the buckle on her bag and pouring out some of the bottles of paint and about a trillion brushes and doodles and bottles of glitter and all that fun stuff that she threw on that wall. Instantly she got to work, humming some tune, ears listening expertly for sounds of anyone else approaching. 

 

“Red! Yes red is a good idea. Also some blue in the back would be pretty, oh what about this new one that I haven’t opened yet? It kind of looks like the colour of human grass, what a pretty green! What about glitter? We could make it sparkly, huh? That could be fun, make it shine a bit! Yeah, yeah, let’s do that!” She chattered away to herself, while working away. 

 

A good amount of time passed by, her face thoroughly covered in paint and glitter, her jacket an absolute mess, her hat had a few splatters from where she had thrown her arms up, trying to reach the top part of the painting without having to haul a ladder out. Standing back to admire her work, she whistled a tune of appreciation, eyes scanning over the work she had done today. 

 

“Maybe tomorrow I’ll add flowers. That can brighten up this dull wall!” She said excitedly, beginning to pack her supplies back into her backpack. Wait. Wait was that footsteps?

 

Shit.

 

Nepeta yelped, grabbing her backpack and running into one of the air vents. Old habits die hard, she supposed. She still hid in them, but a little more sneakily than times before. Slamming the grate back behind her, so she could still see but was hidden by the fence, she settled into a comfortable position and sat urgently, listening for anymore sounds.

 

“I swear, I found it yesterday. Her big sweaty asshole friend was looking for her, and then I ran into this. Tell me if this is natural.” A voice shouted from the hallway.

 

Oh my god.

 

She bit her lip to refrain from shouting, she forgot to lock the garage yesterday for about an hour while she went to go have a snack!

 

And to make it worse, it sounded like Karkat’s voice.

 

“It’s probably not anything, Karkat! You shouldn’t worry about it! Let’s just head back, it’s not any of your business anyways!” That was Jade, sounding a little urgent on trying to return. Of course, she knew what was down here. Good Jade, best friend. Dog. Thing.

 

“Hm, I dunno Karkat! Maybe Nepeta just likes to paint? You shouldn’t be making such a big deal over this!” John. She heard Jade smack John’s head, and him making a small sound. “Or, we could, you know, head back and go watch a movie or something?” He said weakly and Jade sighed.

 

Nepeta heard the door fly open, and saw the three of them walk in. Her eyes instantly flickered towards her large muraoh shit she forgot to cover it with the crates.

 

She was doomed.

 

Mentally beating herself up, she chewed on her lip until she felt the taste of blood. Oops. “See? See this painting of, uh, me and her? Is this not creepy?” She heard Karkat say, and she just shut her eyes, waiting for her to die patiently of embarrassment. 

 

“Come on Karkat! She likes you, that’s not bad! She’s so sweet, and she admires you!” Jade insisted, waving her arms around. 

 

“Maybe it’s like, how she copes with the game and stuff. She did die, you know.” John put in, and Jade glared at him. “What? Maybe putting us all together in relationships helps her in her mind keep us all together. Or something. I dunno, maybe she just has a super crush on you, Karkat.” John finished, oblivious to Jade.

 

“But I don’t want some creepy little cat girl obsessively painting me on a wall! She’s helpless, she can’t hold for herself! She has her stupid moirail doing everything for her, she doesn’t have any strength for herself! She acts like a fucking wriggler, and this is all some childish game to her. Everything is some childish game to her, she probably thought Gamzee was going to give her a hug and then, oops, he murdered her!” Karkat yelled, stomping his foot dramatically. 

 

John rolled his eyes, and Jade glanced around the room nervously, until she locked eyes with Nepeta in the vent. She opened her mouth to say something, and the other two looked towards the vent, but Nepeta turned away and ran back through the vent, making a loud crashing noise audible to everyone.

 

“Nice going, asshole.” Jade rolled his eyes at Karkat, and walked out of the garage while the other two stared at each other, confused.


	3. Chapter 3

“I have got...to get the heck...outta here.” Nepeta muttered, crawling back through the vents, ignoring Jade calling her name. That was mortifying! Strangely enough though, she didn’t know what she felt. At the same time, she wanted to go curl up in a ball and cry for a good hour before avoiding Karkat for the rest of eternity. There were times like this that she wished she didn’t come back. Dying really took a lot out of a girl, and coming back to her friends still thinking of her as only the cat troll was kind of...

 

humiliating.

 

“Creepy little cat girl, hmph.” Nepeta scowled before stopping her crawling to sit down criss cross applesauce. Equius always yelled at her for sitting like that, saying it was childish and something wrigglers did, but she always ignored him. As much as she loved Equius, he too thought she couldn’t fend for herself. She loved always having someone to help her, but she didn’t always need it.

 

“I killed as many imps as everyone else. I played my way through this game too!” She protested audibly, hearing Jade call her name again. Fine. Let her. Nepeta knew it wasn’t Jade’s fault, but she couldn’t bear to see her right now. She couldn’t bear to see anyone.

 

Loosening the screws on the air vent grate, she let it fall to the floor with a clatter. Shit, if anyone heard that they would be on her in a second! Slipping out feet first, back turned, she fell to the ground with an ‘oomph’, reaching down to pick up the fallen piece and slide it back on to protect anybody else coming this way. Turning back around, she let out a huge sigh and sunk to her knees.

 

Thankfully, she was in her respiteblock. Nobody would bother her here, atleast for now. The door was locked, and nobody would bother her. Or she hoped, until she heard Jade knocking loudly on her door. “Nepeta, let me in. Let me IN!” She said, shoving open the door anyways. Okay, maybe it wasn’t locked.

 

She looked up at Jade with a blank expression, and shrugged. “Okay, I get that you’re upset but honestly. He didn’t mean what he said!” Jade said, her voice stretching and her arms waving mildly. “Yeah he did.” Nepeta said calmly, looking at her. “Seriously! It’s not a big deal!” She said, a twinge annoyed with how Jade was doubtfully watching her. Huffing, Jade slid down on the ground next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

 

“Listen, Nepeta. You’re going to be fine. It’s not the end of the world.” Jade soothed, and she rolled her eyes. Shrugging her arm off her shoulders, she stood up glaring at her friend. “Jeesh, Jade, I’m not helpless you know! It was just a crush, it’s not the end of the god damn world!” Nepeta shouted, and Jade’s eyes widened. Shoot, she normally doesn’t yell like this. Especially at her friends. Her expression softened and she sat back on the floor.

 

“He called me helpless.” She muttered, her face buried in her knees. Jade nodded, biting her lip. Carefully choosing her words, it was like walking on thin ice right now. “Yes, he did. I am sure he didn’t mean it though!” Jade tried to add on, but Nepeta looked up at her.

 

“Honestly? He did. And I’m not helpless.” The leo said viciously, staring at the ground. “I just don’t get it! Because I have a moirail makes me weak? Because I’m the youngest here? I’m still doing the exact same stuff as you all!” Nepeta lashed out again, cursing as she swiped at the air in front of her.

 

Jade nodded. The green eyed girl knew the young troll only needed to yell, that she was upset. She was quiet for a moment. “Is it because I died?” Nepeta asked quietly, and Jade’s head shot up in urgency while she turned to stare at her friend.

 

“A-are you kidding? Nepeta, atleast half of you all died! We almost couldn’t believe it when you all got a second chance, okay? The fact we could bring you back was incredible, and nobody blames you!” Jade said incredulously, unbelieving of what she was hearing. The troll raised an eyebrow, and Jade shook her head and stood up, ruffling her hair.

 

“I’m gonna go. I think you just need to be by yourself for right now. But don’t you dare think that this was because you died!” Jade said, a reassuring glint in her eye and Nepeta nodded reluctantly as her friend walked out the door.

 

When the latch caught and the room was silent again, she resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the entire thing. Jade was great, but she didn’t get it. She was a human. No matter where you stood in the hemospectrum, a troll is still a troll. Whether you believe in quadrants or not, you still felt the need to prove your own independence and strength. 

 

It was almost as if everyone thought she was useless, pathetic, something that she was not! Kicking the end of her bookshelf hard, she ripped her hat off and bit the fleece to prevent from yelling. 

 

“I am capable of surviving on my own! I can do stuff without people supporting me! Maybe I just like having people being there for me, but I’m something without them!” Nepeta muttered under her breath, now pacing back and forth the tiny room as sketches and books flew off from her bookshelf.

 

Her feet skidded to a halt as she turned to pace to the other way and her door was open. It was not open before, nope, very clearly closed. She raised an eyebrow and stalked over to it before seeing someone with their hand curled around the doorknob and an annoyed expression on their face. 

 

Karkat. Wow, what a surprise. Nepeta should have known someone, John, Kanaya, would push him up here. Apologize to the little girl, they would say. She can’t help that she has a crush on you, she’s younger than you.

 

She’s silly.

 

She’s young and fragile, you don’t need to be harsh with her.

 

Don’t raise your tone, don’t scold her, don’t curse.

 

Treat her like you would treat a child.

 

“Shut up!” She growled, yelling before realizing Karkat hadn’t even said anything. Walking over to him, she caught him rolling his eyes as he walked in the door.

 

“So, uh, Nepeta, I was supposed to apologize. Sorry for hurting your feelings, since I guess you heard all that shit in the basement and stuff.” He said timidly, refusing to meet her eyes. She chuckled, oddly given the circumstance she was in, and he looked at her as if he couldn’t believe she just did that.

 

“Why the hell are you laughing? I’m apologizing!” He said, the agitation in his voice clear now.

 

“Someone told you to come up here and be gentle with my feelings, didn’t they?” She asked flatly, and he nodded before stopping himself.

 

“Uh, I didn’t mean that. No, I came up here myself.” Karkat tried to save himself from drowning, but this time it was Nepeta who rolled her eyes.

 

“Karkat you can’t be serious. No, I’m not upset. My bloodpusher isn’t ripped into a billion teeny pieces. I don’t want to burst out into tears.” She listed off, ticking each on a finger before crossing her arms and glaring at him.

 

His mouth fell open, and his face flushed with rage. “Wh-I can- are you actually serious right now?” He spluttered, and Nepeta took her hat off again and stuffed it in her jacket pocket. Her hair was a mess, and her own eyes were flashing.

 

“Try not to be considerate of my feelings. Try something new, maybe! How about stop apologizing, because I’m not the ‘helpless’ one, okay? Stop!” Nepeta yelled as he opened his mouth again, and she pointed to the door. 

 

“I don’t care that you don’t like me. I care that you were stupid enough to think I can’t handle my own shit.” She said as he walked out the door, ending her bravado with a loud slam of her door that made the entire floor shake. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading this, that means you've just read the most updated chapter of something I thought I abandoned! I seriously apologise, I was tempted to abandon this before I looked at some of the comments and the kudos, so thank you guys so much for supporting this fic! If you want to track updates on Tumblr, I'll tag it under the tag 'lost shippers' because the title is really long. Thank you all so much!

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if this will be multichapter, I guess it depends on the kind of traffic I get and how much time I have to write! So please let me know if you like it, or I may not continue. It all depends on you! C:


End file.
